I was so
foolish to think that just jumping back into a relationship would go well.
Obviously, it wouldn’t, not in the type of circumstances we’re in.
Yes, we’re
in a relationship now. We love each other…she even said as much. She’s just so
beautiful, and I feel so warm around her. The loneliness and cold are
completely gone; Winter is over, forever.
We were so
passionate towards each other at first. I can still feel her body against mine,
as we wrapped around each other in the light of a camp fire out in the
Californian Wilderness. I remember stroking her soft hair. I remember looking
into her eyes, fiery with the flicker of the flames beside us…
At first.
The stress has gotten to us. Every day, we’re wondering what our future is
going to be. I don’t want her to be taken away because of my affiliation to The
Monsters, and The Lonely Hearts, but she’s insistent that she doesn’t care
about that, she just wants me to stand by her side.
I want our
love to feel more natural though. With this situation, it just feels like, we’re
being “forced”. Or something. I don’t know.
Maybe
California isn’t too good of a location after all. Maybe we should move again. And
all the while, I feel something dark surrounding us again…
The
nightmares were gone for a while. But they’re coming back again.
And this
time, instead of an endless blizzard, or Padriac, or any of the usual shit, I
see strings; thousands of them. They swallow the sky, and swoop down upon us,
sinking deep into our flesh and bones, reminding us that we’re only pieces in a
chess game.
