Saturday, June 26, 1999

June on the West Coast


I’ve been in Winetka, California for only a week, and my life’s already changed.
It took so much to get to this place. I had to sacrifice a lot, and I had to break the status quo. Things are going to get messy if I’m not careful, due to this. But it’s worth it…it’s all worth it. I’d rather die than go back to that place. 

I’m meeting with her, my true love; Arienette. We’re meeting out on in a secluded location…I’m confident they’re going to have a hell of a time finding us out here. I’m not letting her go. Not this time.

I’m in the back of a truck, in its flatbed, with my backpack and my guitar. I’m holding you, the journal, in my hand as I bear down on it with a pencil, writing this interior message to you. I’m so fucking nervous right now. 

Guess I’ll keep writing until I get there. I want to look at the scenery around me, but I can’t, I have to write, don’t I?

The sunlight is here is just so comforting. On the East Coast, it felt almost alien, in a way. I know that sounds strange, but for me, it’s the truth. Here, the heat isn’t some humid, tropical kind; it’s pure Summer air. It feels wonderful. 

I think I’d like to live here, maybe. Possibly. Probably. I mean, why not?

It’s so different from where I was about three weeks ago, when I first got a reply from her in the mail. I was in Mesa, Arizona, and the heat was just unbearable. I spent a day there, and before I got the letter, I was just completely miserable. The visions started again, with the fireworks and the memories flooding my head again. This time, though, they all morphed into visions of dying dreams. 

But then, I got the reply from her, the one I had sent from another location in Arizona. The letter gave me a hope that somehow extinguished the fiery hallucinations. I had so many more things to tell her, I felt like I was on fire, but I knew that I could eventually just ask, when I finally see her.

I even slept, without any nightmares, that night. I’ve wanted that for months. 

I guess Spring really did do its part, eh?

I finally saw my brother two weeks ago, too; out in the outskirts of Olympia. I haven’t seen him in years, so you can understand how big this was to me. I talked to him about what had happened, and how I had escaped from The Lonely Hearts. He’s worried, of course…especially since he’s one of those timid, careful types.
He just doesn’t understand how it is to be a caged bird.
I had to leave him, though. 

Departed to San Diego to throw off any stalkers before meeting my Arienette.
There, I met my old girlfriend, Laura Laurent. I loved her once, but our relationship was doomed from the start. Like me, she’s a Key (of course not on the same level as my Key, but still). It would have never worked out…

I spent the night with her. Didn’t sleep with her…I just couldn’t stop thinking of Arienette the entire time. I longed to be with her, while I was walking on the beach with Laura. I long to be with her…

AndNo wait nevermind
We’re there. I see her!!
Thank you.