I just want a normal night.
I'm in a hotel...another goddamn hotel. I've been traveling constantly from state to state, trying to confuse those who are watching me. If I move around enough, they're bound to lose track of me.
Some state in the southwest. In room. Visions won't stop.
Past and future are mixing in with the present in my room. I see how I used to be, and how I'm going to be, with the reflection in the mirror across the room. I see her, I see her again, I see me. Lights flash all around me,...bursts of lights. Like fireworks.
A red tone lingers in the air. I feel intoxicated, but I haven't had a drink.
My skin tingles as I brush my fingers across my forearm. The pen I'm holding seems extremely cold and also almost scalding hot at the same time. There's some ringing in the background that just won't quit.
She appears, my Arienette, in front of me. The sun rises, the sun sets right before my eyes. I want to reach out and touch her sweet, soft face. I want to kiss her. I want to feel her close by me.
Tingling static surges through my entire body. What is happening? Why?
I clutch at my chest. Perhaps my Key is malfunctioning.
I knew I shouldn't have meditated with her in my mind.
Perhaps the Key is granting my "wish", and is now letting my past consume me, so that I can see her again.
Or maybe a Fear is just fucking around with me.
I'm trying to get up,...trying to stand on my own two feet. The vision of Arienette is gone. Where did sh-
My weight is too much, and I collapse, and fall to the floor. I hear the rain tap against the window, and I hear the visions scream around me, as my skin scratches against the itchy carpeting.
I am writing this down still, but I'm on the floor. What, no. I never fell. I'm still on the bed. But then, who fell to the floor? When did that happen?
No I'm in the bathroom. I'm looking into the mirror. I see myself...I'm so fucking undesirable.
I'm back on the floor, and on a bed at the same time. She's laying beside me, and for a moment, I silently wish that this moment lasts forever.
A clock ticks somewhere above me. Why does it never stop why does it continue on like this
The fireworks stop, and the color in my love's face drains away. I sink into the mattress, into the floor, and I disappear into the darkness. I'm back in my lonely hotel room...no one's here.
I'll be there soon, love. I promise.
